Life as a mom isn’t exactly a fun experience. Sure, it is rewarding, of course, it’s dripping with heartwarming feelings, and it is absolutely filled with personal growth. However, catering to your little spawn’s everyday needs is ultimately a tiring, nerve-racking, and cumbersome experience you live through 24/7, 365 days per year. For the rest of your life. And besides being overfilled with the joy of your little one’s accomplishments, there’s one more thing you can do about your woes, and it is to laugh your socks off by reading these mom jokes formulated for those with kids yet entertaining for every human being. Laughter is, be as it may, the best painkiller and the elite in giving you a mental break. So yeah, this is our selection of the funniest mom jokes that we’ve found – all one hundred and eighty-two cool jokes which you can try to read in between feeding time, changing diapers, and cleaning up the constant mess.
These parenting jokes are trying to encapsulate what it is truly like raising kids. So, from kids trying to outsmart you every step of the way to you trying to explain to them the workings of life and doing the workload of at least twenty people, these parent jokes will resonate with your experiences with each word. Or, at least, it will give you something to laugh at! But, on the other hand, if these jokes are too painfully relatable to you, the very least they will do is reassure you that you are not alone on this quest to raise a decent human being, which is undoubtedly the hardest task of them all.
So, without any further ado – since we know that you don’t have much time before your baby wakes from their sleep and requires your attention – why don’t you scroll right down below and check out the funny jokes? Vote for the best mommy jokes that made you laugh and share this article with your friends experiencing the same overwhelming joy of raising progeny.
#1
I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He said, “Call for backup.”
“My mum just bought our cat a Christmas stocking even tho we are muslims and don’t even celebrate Christmas?? She was like “We don’t know what religion he is we can’t force him to be muslim” he’s a cat?!?!”
#3
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
#4
“Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that’s not allowed if the baby is yours.”
#5
When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
#6
“My 4YO fell off his scooter, and before I could help him, he stood up, dusted off, and whispered to himself, “shake it off big dawg.”
I’ve never been more confused about whether something was a parenting win or fail.”
#7
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
#8
Daughter: Mom, I need my personal space!
Mom: You came out of my personal space.
#9
You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
#10
Kid: What’s for dinner?
Mom: Food.
Kid: What kind?
Mom: The kind you eat.
#11
“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon
#12
*In Mary Poppin’s voice* “Kids, time to go!”
15 minutes later… *Christian Bale’s Batman voice* “I said, let’s go.”
#13
Mom’s recipe for iced coffee:
Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
#14
“Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.”
#15
“Mom, stop you are not funny. You never make good jokes.”
“I made you.”
#16
“I’ve conquered a lot of things… blood clots in my lungs — twice, knee and foot surgeries, winning Grand Slams being down match point, to name just a few. But I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!” – Serena Williams
#17
“At my daughter’s 4-year checkup, the doctor said she should be eating a varied diet and to make sure she’s eating a good amount from each food group and I think she said a bit about trying new foods but not sure cause I got distracted wondering if she’d ever actually met a 4yo.”
#18
“I just watched my child individually pick off and eat every sprinkle on the donut I gave her. She has the patience for that, but can’t wait 30 seconds for me to pee by myself.”
#19
Nothing is really lost until Mom can’t find it.
#20
“My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.”
#21
“I’m not saying parenthood is hard, I’m just saying I was a LOT better at it before I had kids.”
#22
“Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?” – Michelangelo’s mother
#23
“When my kid tells me they got hurt doing exactly what I told them to stop doing so they wouldn’t get hurt, I say, “Oh noooooo…””
#24
“My kids are never better friends than when it’s 30 minutes past bedtime, and they won’t stop giggling.”
#25
Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.
#26
“My mom once asked me to close the patio door because I was “letting the WiFi out.”
#27
“I love to play hide-and-seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.”
#28
“My 4yo grabbed the egg off my egg and cheese sandwich, put it on her plate, took a bite of it, and then grabbed the rest in her hand, squeezed it shut, and handed it back to me saying she didn’t want it anymore. And this… THIS is why I can’t have nice things.”
#29
“I always thought I’d be a patient mom, but I don’t like who I become 30 seconds into my son’s guided tour of his Minecraft village.”
#30
“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” – Chrissy Teigen