Swear words and insults are an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s hard to imagine humanity ever becoming so peaceful and kind that nobody would ever have anything bad to say about anyone else. There’s always going to be friction. Different perspectives, values, and agendas are always going to clash.
But for some people, simple and direct insults, though powerful, can get pretty mundane. User u/CoatedTrout4 recently inspired the r/AskReddit community to share their favorite subtle and creative insults that are beyond devastating. We’ve collected some of their most imaginative ones to share with you. Scroll down to check them out! Though, keep in mind, insulting someone ‘for fun’ is a great way to lose friends—it’s not something to be played around with.
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#1
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries…
We got in touch with licensed professional counselor Rodney Luster, Ph.D., for his thoughts on why some people go for subtle insults. He also shared his advice on how we can all be more emotionally resilient, no matter the criticism that we face. Dr. Luster is the host of the ‘More Than a Feeling’ blog on Psychology Today and the founder of ‘Inspirethought.’
“How and why people choose things is sometimes motivated by deeper, unconscious elements,” Dr. Luster told We via email.
“In a case where people interweave a criticism, it could be because of the Shadow Self. As Jung suggested, the ‘dark’ aspect of ourselves that is part of our unconscious is acting out, so we attempt to disown the ‘shadow’ in us by criticizing others,” he said.
“For those that do it less conspicuously, it might also be a passive way to tell someone how they really feel about them, disguising it in hidden language.”
RELATED: #2
(After a tirade or rude remark) “Are you okay”, spoken with the deepest sincerity.
#3
You’re difficult to underestimate.
We asked Dr. Luster about becoming more resilient to any criticism thrown our way. He suggested a few things that we can do when we face criticism.
“Try to be aware of your defensiveness creeping up and attempt to remove your own connection by looking more closely at the underlying emotions and motives of the critic,” he told We.
#4
When I was living I the UK I learned my favourite, most polite roast, of all times:
“You are so brave to say that”.
I love British sarcasm.
#5
Working with you is like working by myself, but harder.
#6
The best line I heard was in a gym car park. A martial arts instructor was reversing his car and was nearly upended by a mid-40s feral in lycra on her P plates. She was looking for an argument and chose a soft target – country of origin based on appearance and skin colour. She fired off all insults based around the subject of “go back to where you came from”.
The guy, who I perceived to be much older, said, “In my country, abortion is illegal. But with you, we can make an exception.”.
Dr. Luster added that we can also ‘scrub’ the words. “Look beneath the critical words for the productive element if there is one.”
You can also reframe the criticism. “We get to choose how to contextually situate this in our brain,” he said.
“I like to use the following analogy: You can choose to see your house in a few ways. You can go outside and stand in front of it, or you can look at it from Google Maps. Both are true versions, but you choose the one that you would rather see. Same thing here: choose the best picture of what you heard and see it for any opportunity that helps or not.”
#7
Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.
#8
Had this rude girl at work a few years back, who thought she was so hot and perfect and.. well you know the type. Anyway, one day I got sick of her attitude and said, ” Kendra, what’s it like being like the third hottest girl here?”
Drove her mad.
#9
Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
There’s definitely a time and a place for swear words and insults. Swearing can relieve or distract us from pain, relieve stress, and even showcase linguistic creativity. However, you should not go around insulting everyone around you all day long just because you enjoy the rush. You’ll soon find that you no longer have any friends left!
However, a well-placed verbal jab or some witty banter can add color to everyone’s life. Especially if the other person has a good sense of humor and a dash of self-awareness to be able to laugh at themselves, too. Maybe they can appreciate how playful and intelligent your insult was. Of course, this only applies to situations where the person throwing around the insults isn’t completely mean-spirited.
#10
I don’t.respect you enough for you to hurt my feelings.
#11
I had a really self-obsessed grade 12 student start bragging about how good looking he was, trying to get some girls’ attention. He said “people always tell me I look like a model.” I was at my desk marking, while the students were *supposed to be* working and, without even looking up I piped in with “Yah, a hand model.” His friends roared with laughter and I got many high fives. Even from the “model” kid.
#12
> “You’re not making the point you think you are.”.
Unfortunately, there will always be people who put others down to boost their own egos. They might have problems with self-esteem or self-image. But instead of working through their problems, they lash out at the world. Some folks become outright bullies. Others embrace passive aggression.
Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University, argues that it’s not actually direct insults that do us the most harm. As it turns out, we’re most unsettled by casual put-downs because they catch us off guard.
According to the professor, subtle criticisms can be hidden or implied, take on the guise of a false compliment, or even masquerade as someone pretending to be concerned.
#13
“Have the day you deserve!”.
#14
“You two look gorgeous” in the comments section of a social media post of a picture with 3 women in it.
#15
I work at a grocery store that has a “senior day” once a month (they receive 10% off their entire order, includng alcohol and tobacco). I had a very rude young lady in my lane (probably late 30s). I added the senior discount, she saw it, and I said “I’m not quite sure if you qualify for the senior discount, but I gave it to you just in case. That’s 10% off your purchase
Have a nice day!” The look on her face was priceless. 😉.
However, subtle insults aren’t all-powerful. A lot depends on how you react to them. Or, to put it another way: is an insult still an insult if the person being insulted doesn’t feel insulted?
Professor Kraft urges people to first of all identify the hidden or implied insults. You can then directly confront the other person with a simple question and brief conversation. Or you move past the put-down by throwing out a general reply.
Alternatively, you could always downplay the put-down. For instance, you can acknowledge the insult and then either disagree with it or amplify it. If you throw some verbal playfulness into the mix, you can show that you’re not bothered.
#16
You seem like the kind of guy who would be embarrassed to buy tampons for his girlfriend.
#17
“Ah, so this is what everyone meant.”.
#18
Five years ago, I met up with a friend. I asked her how my eyebrows were ( I had just waxed them and done them nicely). Her response: “I like the left one.”
Still remember that.
At the end of the day, though, it’s up to each of us to decide who we spend time with. If we’re constantly dealing with a barrage of snarky remarks, maybe it’s time to focus on better friends.
What’s the most subtle but powerful insult you’ve ever heard, Pandas? Which of the put-downs in this post would you ever use in real life and why? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
#19
I’m close to my sister and her friends. I’ve unironically heard, “I like how you’ll just wear anything” after they spent the past hour getting ready.
#20
Never underestimate the power of okay:
“You’re ugly” okay
“You’re stupid” okay
“You’ll never be cool” okay
Stops them in their tracks and makes them look weird as hell for saying it in the first place.
#21
Man, I wish I had your confidence.
Also, one I always remember from xkcd: “the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.”.
#22
To someone who’s yelling at you “Oh wow, big feelings!!”.
#23
I think you are talking about things that you don’t have the capacity to understand.
It went right over his head.
#24
Couldn’t say it better than Ron Swanson
“When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”.
#25
Man, you’re making that look real difficult.
#26
“Everyone was right about you.”.
#27
I heard a kid say this before:
“You know I bet you eat your cereal with water, ’cause your dad never came back with the milk.”
Kinda basic but it hit the other guy hard.
#28
After knowing you all these years, I truly consider you an acquaintance.
#29
You have not been cursed with knowledge.
#30
You might be smart enough to be a bimbo, but the looks just don’t qualify.
#31
I’ve always liked, “you’re at the top of the bell curve.” .
#32
My days of not respecting you certainly are coming to a middle.
#33
As a woman, you have to be very careful when you use this one, but anything “oh wow are you trying something new with your makeup? (Or hair or insert something) Oh no it doesn’t look bad- it’s just interesting.” Did that to a girl who was bullying a friend of mine, she immediately shut up and seemed self conscious.
#34
“You look tired.”.
#35
First of all, clean your teeth.