Nobody’s an island—we need other people not only to survive but also to thrive. On top of that, loneliness and isolation have thoroughly negative impacts on our health. So it makes sense that we want and need active social lives and the respect of our peers. That’s why many people copy what others do in order to conform with the crowd and create relationships with others.
However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean that it’s right for you or even the ethically right thing to do. Reddit user u/avaspark started up an interesting conversation when they asked everyone to share the things that society normalizes, but that they absolutely refuse to do. Scroll down to see what these internet users had to say.
We reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/avaspark, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the topic. You’ll find We’s interview with them below.
#1
Influencers. I have a hard time articulating the depth of their collective uselesness.
Brilliant_Pun , Mizuno K Report
Final score: 410points 
Hokuloa Hokuloa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Not really a “norm,” but I certainly agree with their general uselessness.
72 72points reply
According to the author of the thread, what made them ask the question on Reddit was how out of place they felt in society as a whole. “The thing that inspired me to create the thread was due to how much I feel left out from the society,” they told We.
The redditor explained their position that even though society has created a “way of living” that’s commonly accepted by most people, there will always be some aspects of it that individuals refuse.
“So I began to think if there would be anybody who felt as much left out as I did,” they said.
#2
Child beauty pagents
Final score: 374points 
Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Honestly🤢 Breeding grounds for pedophilia.
168 168points reply View More Replies… #3
Going to work while sick. If I’m sick with something contagious I’m staying home period.
Mountain-Asparagus25 , Marcus Aurelius Report
Final score: 322points Hokuloa Hokuloa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Fully paid sick days should be the norm. They should also be mandatory for contagious illnesses.
121 121points reply View More Replies…
In the author’s opinion, it’s precisely because there are some individuals who don’t conform to social norms that they’re pressured to do so. The more they don’t conform, the greater this pressure will probably be.
Meanwhile, We was curious to get the OP’s thoughts on marriage, something that they mentioned in their post they refuse to accept, even though it’s normalized in society.
“From my perspective, some people frown on others who don’t want to get married because of the differences in personal opinion and preferences. Some people might think marriage is beneficial, some might not,” they said.
#4
Going into debt for a wedding. I do like marriage even if the benefits are next to nothing these days but the normalization of a $20-$30k wedding in America is ridiculous. We just went to the court house and had a small party afterwards. No need to spend all that cash just to start your life together in debt
Adorable_Cuckquean , Jonathan Borba Report
Final score: 303points Niva Niva Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Our backyard potluck wedding with compostable plates/cutlery was beautiful and perfect, right down to our bare feet 🙂 And no gifts please! We already had/have everything we want/need.
80 80points reply View More Replies… #5
Plastering your life on social media
salloumk , Afif Ramdhasuma Report
Final score: 290points 
Ansi Ansi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
Especially your kids. I had a friend of a friend posting daily updates what her kids was wearing that day. Put them up against a wall for a photo and explaining what different brands the clothes were. It was weird.
74 74points reply View More Replies… #6
Hustle 26 hours a day, grind to be successful, etc.
I just wanna do my job I enjoy, come home for dinner, play with my dogs, listen to music and sleep.
YOU can be the billionaire. I’m good where I am brah.
adminofyourlifenow , Andrea Piacquadio Report
Final score: 278points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
THIS^^^^
48 48points reply
“The numbers of opinion also play a part in this. The opinion with the majority of votes will influence what it is that the society defines as a norm/acceptable. Meanwhile, opinions with a minority of votes will be defined otherwise by society,” u/avaspark said that it’s this contradiction in opinions that will cause friction and judgment of people’s choices.
“In addition, not every norm is acceptable and not everything acceptable is a norm. If anyone out there feel like they are missing out or being left out or not belong to the society, at least they know it’s not a must,” they said.
Social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and many are now worried that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. However, it’s not just people’s physical and mental health that suffers—this social isolation has economic impacts, too.
#7
Worshipping people, I don’t really get the concept of looking up at actors, politicians religious figures or “influencers”, just feels wrong, and 99.9% of the times, this “figures” end up being s**t
chocolombia , Aline Viana Prado Report
Final score: 263points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
What I don’t get is why people like Andrew Tate are always in the trending. Like, he’s a bad guy, let’s not pay him attention, let’s move on.
82 82points reply View More Replies… #8
Filming and photographing everything I do or experience and putting it online for attention from family and strangers.
rebelbasestarfleet , cottonbro studio Report
Final score: 238points 
Mycroft1967 Mycroft1967 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
No one cares what you had for breakfast.
67 67points reply View More Replies… #9
Tiktok
Disastrous-Custard10 , cottonbro studio Report
Final score: 236points Kat Lyle Kat Lyle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Or as I like to call it “the darwin award app”
75 75points reply View More Replies…
For example, Forbes points out that disconnection costs businesses $154 billion per year due to productivity loss. So there are both humanitarian and utilitarian reasons to encourage people to connect with others and develop deep, meaningful relationships.
However, it’s important to find balance in your connections with others. If you simply copy everything that your social circle does—from values and attitudes to style, body language, and life choices—you might feel like you’re losing your sense of self.
#10
Religion/teaching my kids to be religious. I live in the Bible Belt so when I tell people I’m not religious nor plan to teach my children to be religious they always look at me like I told them I beat my kids with a metal bar.
Final score: 209points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Meanwhile, they probably beat their own kids just the same. Indoctrination just leads to mental health problems later in life, and anyway, kids naturally develop an aversion to anything pushed upon them against their will. If they will be religious, let it happen naturally. It is a personal choice, and your kids should not have to think and live exactly like you do. Leave them be.
79 79points reply View More Replies… #11
Using punctuation and proper spelling on text messages or chat applications. I don’t care if you don’t do it, I will still write my text properly.
Edit: I meant to say, it is now normalized to NOT using punctuation and proper spelling.
ReadyFyre1 , Tim Samuel Report
Final score: 206points 
Mr. Nurse Man Mr. Nurse Man Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I’m petty enough to refuse to answer people if they don’t use reasonable grammar and punctuation. I can understand trying to use abbreviations like lol and stuff, but the amount of run-on sentences and misspellings (their, they’re, there) drives me mad.
37 37points reply View More Replies… #12
Sketched on eyebrows and bee sting lips… ugh.
Final score: 206points 
Sea Squirrel Sea Squirrel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I only hear half of what women with airbrushed eyebrows say. To me those things are even more distracting than spinach between teeth.
58 58points reply View More Replies…
Being an individual with your own particular set of values, opinions, dreams, and ambitions is nothing to sneer at. It’s pleasant to be part of a collective and we strive for this. But at the same time, every human being is more than just the community they belong to.
You should live with the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in, instead of fearing that you might become an outcast if you go against the grain. You shouldn’t find yourself in a position where you shut off your critical thinking just because it’s easier to follow everyone else’s expectations.
#13
Getting extremely long eyelashes or nails
Final score: 188points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Report
Not against personal taste, but what I wanna know is how my long-nailed sisters text, wipe their bums and pick their nose. 😂 Seems impossible. Ouch.
91 91points reply View More Replies… #14
Endless consumption
dolfijnvriendelijk , freestocks Report
Final score: 178points Mycroft1967 Mycroft1967 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
If you want endless debt.
26 26points reply #15
cheating/infidelity while in a monogamous relationship. Also social media.
NoBrightSide , https://www.pexels.com/photo/gold-bitcoin-844127/ Report
Final score: 174points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I will never understand cheaters, unless the partner is abusive. How can you betray the one you love, your best friend? Totally alien concept to me.
66 66points reply View More Replies…
As Psychology Today explains, conformity can be seen as negative when it’s done out of fear, or concern for a person’s social standing, or has dangerous consequences.
On the flip side, conformity is also what can help communities thrive and succeed because everyone’s on the same page in terms of rules and norms.
#16
Crypto
Middle-Wrangler2729 , Worldspectrum Report
Final score: 165points 
Sami-Jo Ross Sami-Jo Ross Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Still thinking about the guy who asked if he could pay for his purchase at Home Depot in Bitcoin. Lord, I wish I’d had the wit at the time to say we don’t accept Monopoly money.
34 34points reply View More Replies… #17
Hating on the person your partner is cheating on you with. I see so many girls hate “the other girl” when yk, your bf/husband should care more about your relationship/marriage than some random girl they decided to f**k. Make it make sense.
12kindsoftrouble , RDNE Stock project Report
Final score: 151points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Well, if the person knew that a married person was having an affair with them and they still let it happen, that is kind of s****y.
83 83points reply View More Replies… #18
Hook up culture
ChaoticCherryblossom , cottonbro studio Report
Final score: 137points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
To each their own, I guess, but personally I highly appreciate the security and closeness of monogamy.
52 52points reply #19
Amazon. Jeff does not need more money. I go straight to the company sites.
CtForrestEye , jean-louis Zimmermann Report
Final score: 135points WindySwede WindySwede Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
I don’t buy from here mostly because of either crappy quality, crappy working conditions, lack of union, or just don’t need to sponsor giant clocks in mountains nor huge space penis.
46 46points reply View More Replies… #20
Working over 40+ hours in a week without getting paid for it. F**k that….
Final score: 133points 
Zizzlestix Zizzlestix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Wage slavery.
21 21points reply #21
Wearing makeup to work, I used to because I felt like I had to. The transition got me comments that I look tired and/or sick, but now I throw on mascara only when I want to 😊 I’m not good at make up and am lazy so I’m glad that women aren’t expected to as much anymore 👍
Final score: 133points 
Ece Cenker Ece Cenker Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Report
On one morning preparing for work, I remember thinking, “Oh, my under eyes are dark again. I look tired, I should use more concealer.” And it hit me. I AM tired. I am working six days a week and I do not get enough sleep and I AM TIRED! Who am I hiding it from? My co-workers who are in the same condition? My boss who should know that we are not getting enough rest?! I started putting on less make up from then on, especially in the eye area. If I am tired and it shows, it shows! I don’t have an obligation of pretending I am well and energetic and all chipper when I am not. Live with it.
82 82points reply View More Replies… #22
The death of privacy
monocromatica , Mads Thomsen Report
Final score: 131points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
It depends. It is a lot safer if cameras are in public places like parking garages and used to catch criminals, rapists, et cetera. Obviously, there needs to be a balance.
79 79points reply View More Replies… #23
Call the drinks at Starbucks anything other than small, medium, or large.
Final score: 122points WindySwede WindySwede Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
What are they called?
14 14points reply View More Replies… #24
Monetize all my hobbies and produce “content” for social media.
Dr_Girlfriend_81 , Malte Helmhold Report
Final score: 116points 
Kim Kermes Kim Kermes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I find a ot of sewing and craft Reels very helpful. We love to share, and the money probably just helps support hobbies.
34 34points reply View More Replies… #25
subscription services
lsnik , Andrea Piacquadio Report
Final score: 93points Kim Kermes Kim Kermes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I do find my cat food and litter subscription convenient.
26 26points reply View More Replies… #26
Normalizing obesity
Final score: 87points 
AnonymousApple AnonymousApple Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
People are enormously cruel to overweight people and it’s just unnecessary. The number of people I’ve talked to who think bullying overweight people is “good for them” because it’ll motivate them to lose weight… JFC. I totally understand why there’s a body positivity movement. I don’t think it’s normalizing obesity; I think it’s saying people deserve love and respect regardless of their weight.
123 123points reply View More Replies… #27
Replying all to work emails just to say congratulations to someone.
Final score: 82points WindySwede WindySwede Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
Gotta git de social credit,..!
11 11points reply #28
Vaping – it’s so disgusting 🤮
Final score: 81points 
Ellie Hope Ellie Hope Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Cigarettes are more disgusting, vaping helped me stop. Now I need to stop vaping.
71 71points reply View More Replies… #29
Social media. I’m on reddit, but I don’t see that as social media, it’s more an online forum.
-Blue_Bull- , https://www.pexels.com/photo/crop-ethnic-woman-with-mobile-phone-5838215/ Report
Final score: 79points Mimi M Mimi M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Agreed.
24 24points reply View More Replies… #30
Alcohol
mutohasaposse , Fred Moon Report
Final score: 78points October October Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
This! Never understood why drugs are frowned upon, but it’s okay to drink yourself into a stupor.
75 75points reply View More Replies… #31
I’m tired of so many people trying to normalize teens dressing like grown women
Prestigious-Phase131 , Céline Report
Final score: 76points Kim Kermes Kim Kermes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago
This comment has been deleted.
94 94points reply View More Replies… #32
Going out in pyjamas.
nightcoreangst , KoolShooters Report
Final score: 76points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Report
This shouldn’t really bother people. I used to be like, “oh, now they dress like slobs and in the 50s I would have put on my pearls just to serve my family dinner” but in the end, I realized it’s their choice and they are not hurting anyone by going out in pajamas. We should leave them be.
96 96points reply View More Replies… #33
Buying Jordans or Yeezys. Both are overpriced
Final score: 76points 
Corvus Corvus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
And probably less enduring than non-brand shoes.
12 12points reply #34
Consumer debt. Don’t care if it’s electronics, vehicles, or anything else – if I don’t have the money to buy it outright, I won’t buy it.
Edit: to exclude a mortgage
Edit 2: the comments have been interesting to see the 2 different schools of thought on the matter.
1 hand is the people who take a similar approach and mention how much of a relief it is to not have debt and the freedom it awards.
On the other is people telling me how I’m missing out, foolish, “good luck getting a loan” (which is funny because that’s the whole point is to *not* get one), or how I must be privileged because I don’t have debt (even though I have a very modest income, I just choose to approach purchases differently and delay them so i can and pay myself the interest over several years to pay cash at the time of purchase vs getting that item now and paying someone else later).
It definitely takes a different mindset than society pushes and a lot of financial discipline to maintain that lifestyle, but to me it’s worth it. I don’t have to stress over small hiccups life throws at me because I’m not burdened by monthly payments.
bacon205 , Pavel Danilyuk Report
Final score: 62points WindySwede WindySwede Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
Again, you do you. But no loan for car? I can get electronics and unessesary luxury items. But to have a car is often a means to get to work?
24 24points reply View More Replies… #35
Ghosting
VirtualTaste1771 , Ketut Subiyanto Report
Final score: 59points WindySwede WindySwede Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 weeks ago Report
Sometimes needed? Say a women experiences many red flags from “nice guy” and realised ge will not stop the nagging or worse. Block and go on with something healthy.
60 60points reply View More Replies… #36
Using AI
Final score: 55points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
For practical things, I get it. But my sisters and I have a rollicking good time putting in complicated prompts and getting the wildest pictures. AI can be a very fun toy.
30 30points reply View More Replies… #37
One thing? 😂 Theres so many. But probably the biggest is having kids.
Cool_Relative7359 , Yan Krukau Report
Final score: 54points Corvus Corvus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
The thing that shouldn’t be normalized is the social/peer pressure to have kids at any cost.
76 76points reply #38
Food delivery services. Unless im too wasted to drive ill pick it up myself thanks
gilbert131313 , Kai Pilger Report
Final score: 49points 
Amanda Amanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Good for you, car owner
43 43points reply View More Replies… #39
Working 5x8h. Do I remotely earn enough? I really don’t. Would I be happier with more work + money? No way in hell!
SchlagzeugNeukoelln , AlphaTradeZone Report
Final score: 45points Snorky The Pig Snorky The Pig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
Definitely. I would rather be poorer and still be able to relax and enjoy life. What is the point of money when you can’t even stop to appreciate what it buys for you?
26 26points reply View More Replies… #40
Not being forthcoming on the prenup part of Marriage.
If I ever get married I am going to be honest and straightforward with doing a prenup way early before any marriage proposals will be made.
Even if I am much more poorer than my SO.
PickleFantasies , Alena Darmel Report
Final score: 44points 
Trish Trish Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Report
I’ve always felt that when/if I fall in love, I will be with that person for the rest of my life. That said, a prenup goes against my vision of love and romance. Perhaps that’s why I’m still single at 42. 🙃
12 12points reply View More Replies…
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