When parents take their kids to a backyard barbecue, the last thing they should be worrying about is another guest picking a fight with their child over a hot dog.
But that’s exactly what one dad says happened after a particularly annoying acquaintance began lecturing his daughter about unhealthy food.
The father eventually pulled him aside and demanded he stay away from his family. The dad believed the situation was finally over. However, a few days later, child protective services showed up at his home following an “anonymous” complaint.
Continue scrolling to read the dad’s story about the whole ordeal, which he shared with the ‘Pro Revenge’ community.
RELATED:
No parent wants other people to discipline their children without permission
Image credits: dikushin / freepik (not the actual photo)
Even if they know the person
The know-it-all physicist ended up stuck dealing with the consequences of his actions
Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: beerbellybegone
Kids shouldn’t be shamed into “better” behavior
Even if we did some mental gymnastics and assumed the man’s intentions were good, the way he went about it — telling the girl to give up that “garbage” and physically knocking it out of her hands — is not just despicable. It’s also ineffective.
Peggy Drexler, Ph.D., is a research psychologist, assistant professor of psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University, and she says when we talk about shaming, we often mean the obvious forms: spanking or other physical punishments, public reprimand.
But there are also subtler ways that parents shame their children in the pursuit of discipline. These include making a child feel guilty, deficient, or “bad”; a source of trouble; just plain dumb.
It can also include belittling the child, or even something as seemingly benign as rolling your eyes at them or sighing in response to something they’ve done. Comments might include something along the lines of “You’re acting like such a baby,” or “You’d lose your head if it weren’t glued on!” Oftentimes, shaming happens in front of others, but Drexler says it’s just as likely to happen in private.
As a form of behavior modification, though, shaming — whatever its form, whether obvious or subtle — is destructive.
The psychologist says that’s because, since most kids can’t distinguish between their impulses — their actions — and themselves, instead of condemning the behavior, shaming ends up condemning the child, and making him feel bad about themselves.
As his story went viral, the dad replied to some people in the comments
Newsletter Stay Tuned to Your Favorite Categories