Our perspective on the world is shaped every day by everything we consciously and subconsciously see and experience. Some core ideas form in our minds that are rarely challenged later in life. But they should be. The general idea of ‘right and wrong’ that we see so often growing up doesn’t really continue into the real world. Bad things happen to good people, bad people often face no repercussions for their actions: reality is harsh.
One Reddit user wanted to see what other ‘hard to swallow’ truths people have already learned. Over 31k people had something to say, sharing things that are difficult to accept, but are the actual reality once you step out of the dream world.
We picked out the top raw and honest answers that are better to learn later than never. Scroll down and upvote your favorites, and make sure to share your thoughts; maybe you disagree with some of them? And if we’re still missing out on some ‘harsh realities’, please tell us in the comments below!
#1
Hard work doesn’t always pay off.
#2
Bad things will happen to you for no reason.
#3
Some people just can’t be saved, you could give them every benefit in the world and they still could choose to throw it all away and you can’t do anything about it.
#4
Some parents just don’t love their children.
#5
Your government does NOT have your best interest at heart.
#6
You can’t be anything you want to be.
#7
Some people just don’t get a happy ending, some people never find happiness or satisfaction. People tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel but for some people there isn’t, they never get to see any light, just darkness.
#8
Beauty matters in how people treat people.
#9
That it’s more likely to succeed if born rich than if you born talented
#10
Sometimes, YOU are the problem in a relationship. And if people keep on leaving you, it may well be your fault. Even if you don’t feel like it is.
#11
The world goes on after you die.
#12
There is no karma. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people do bad things that never catch up to them. Good people do good things that screw them over in the long run. It’s all random.
#13
Us 1st world citizens have it much better than we think we have it.
#14
First impressions are a very f*****g big deal.
#15
Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.
#16
Money and good looks matter
#17
We’re not all special.Some of us will not find love.We’re not all equal.
#18
You will likely be lost to history. In just a few centuries, nobody will remember or even knew you existed. Sad, I know, but you just have to accept it.
#19
Mistakes do define you. The little ones don’t, but if you make a big mistake, it will alter your life to an extent. Saying that they don’t matter is a lie that will prevent you from diagnosing life problems later down the line.
#20
You don’t always keep the good friends you meet. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make more later on down the road!
#21
You’re the bad guy in someone’s story, so many of your enemies will never admit to doing anything wrong, but the thing is neither will you in some situations.People justify their own behaviour to themselves. That’s why so many people can’t apologise and double down on the s****y things they do.
#22
All human beings are capable of being viciously immoral. There’s a point where we can be forced or force ourselves to become completely animalistic. We can perpetrate murder and genocide, as just one example, and if justified to ourselves correctly, we will feel no remorse. We like to think that the only people capable of such horror are a minority but the truth is that we are all capable of it given the right circumstances.
#23
Nobody is truly selfless, and that’s ok
#24
People refuse to accept that this IS the reality. Lots of time and money is spent cushioning that blow.We live here. We live now.Best get used to it.
#25
Pain is inescapable. Not even acknowledging that pain is inevitable and preparing for it ahead of time can lessen it.You will be taken by surprise, you will be hurt, you will not enjoy it, you will not be able to numb it, and there is nothing you can do except take it on the chin.
#26
Very few people truly accept their mortality, and most of the time when it truly sinks in, people get scared and want to avoid it.
#27
People can just simply fall out of love with you for no reason.You fretting about whether it’s you or something else or the investment is basically you giving them the reasons to strengthen the reason why they stopped loving you. When they could very much not have a reason at all, feelings and priorities can change.
#28
People like to be lied to. They don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to
Liz Jorgensen Liz Jorgensen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Everyone lies including youDenying this is a lie in itself
11 11points reply Load More Replies…
Jess Baldo Jess Baldo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
There’s some people that just do it way too much and for seemingly no reason. Those are the people I rather not associate with. The ones that lie about who they are or things they’ve done I just find it creepy like I will never actually know them.
3 3points reply Boján Zoltán Boján Zoltán Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I never lied so far. Maybe subconsciouslyn to myself.
0 0points reply
Liz Jorgensen Liz Jorgensen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I don’t believe you
-1 -1point reply
Linda Gilliam Linda Gilliam Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Amen !!! I have a non-blood family member that lies SO EFFING MUCH, that we say” if her lips are moving, she’s lying !! ” She can do something directly in front of you then say ” it wasn’t me !! ” DISGUSTING !!I couldn’t live with myself lying that much. I honestly don’t understand how she keeps track of all the lies she’s told. Smh…She’s 31& has NEVER had a job that she didn’t get fired from bc money came up missing from her drawer/till. EVERY. SINGLE. JOB !!! It’s exhausting to be around her.
9 9points reply
Littlemiss Littlemiss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow Premium 
Premium user. Get details. 3 years ago Report
You have one too? Ours are 68 and 76 and lived the same way. It feels amazing when you drop them like they’re hot and don’t live in fear I’m learning. My lie is I said nice to see you when they appeared last.
1 1point reply 
Max Fox Max Fox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
The problem is not that she lies to you, but that she wastes your time and energy with the lies.
0 0points reply 
Geoffrey Scott Geoffrey Scott Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Have a SIL the same, always a convoluted story/excuse as to why. She is/was a member of a Baptist sect, THEY will not help her after the lies/scams she has pulled. She is now a widow, a very lonely, spiteful, widow.
0 0points reply 
Pamela Leigh Pamela Leigh Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
You could put up boundaries with that one
0 0points reply
Brandon Herrin Brandon Herrin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
How do I look? You ask. You say you want the truth, but you ask because you want to be told you look good. Thus, you want to be lied to. Your conscience says you don’t, and even if you know you look like c**p, you ask someone you know will tell you otherwise, because you want to hear it. Thus, you want to be lied to. The fact that you think this isn’t true means you are lying to yourself. Thus, you want to be lied to.
1 1point reply
Cynthia Wilkins Cynthia Wilkins Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Or you learn to communicate your wants and needs like an adult. If you’re looking for affirmation from your SO, a friend, or a family member, you can say “tell me I look good!” If they actually love you, they will see something my good to comment on. But if you ask a question, you need to be prepared for any answer. Otherwise it’s a demand, not a question.
3 3points reply Boján Zoltán Boján Zoltán Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Or maybe they ask because they genuinely want the truth.
3 3points reply
rumple slunkskin rumple slunkskin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
There is no truth worse than a lie
1 1point reply
Brandon Herrin Brandon Herrin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
That’s not the quote. Because there are truths worse than lies. That’s why you lie in the first place. If the truth was always better, there would be no need to lie.
2 2points reply
XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I don’t believe you.
1 1point reply 
simspawn simspawn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Self delusional.
0 0points reply 
Dan Holden Dan Holden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
“Those pants make you look fat”. Honest question here. Would you rather hear this from your significant other, would you prefer a white lie that makes you feel good?
0 0points reply
Joss Joss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Even for things like that there’s a nicer way to say it though… Not wanting to be lied to doesn’t mean you want people to be d*cks either. “Those pants don’t flatter you nearly so well as [better option]” would be true and convey information without potentially hurting feelings.
12 12points reply
Boján Zoltán Boján Zoltán Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
YES EXACTLY JOSS! People act like you can only be a liar or an a*****e. You can be totally honest and be nice about it.
5 5points reply
Laura C Laura C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I honestly rather have them tell me the truth, otherwise I would be walking around with pants that look bad without knowing it.
7 7points reply 
JM JM Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I’d much rather know so I can put something more flattering.
7 7points reply
Mary Kelly Mary Kelly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
what if it was something you couldn’t change?…what if your spouse told you that he thinks your stretchmarks are ugly…or a good friend told you that they don’t want to vacation with you b/c you are too picky?…sometimes it’s best not to know or tell…
1 1point reply Cynthia Wilkins Cynthia Wilkins Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Not lying does not mean having no filter. There is no reason for someone to complain about someone else’s stretch marks – especially if a man is complaining about the stretch marks from carrying HIS baby. That’s not being honest, it’s being a jerk. And for the friend example, it’s much better to know why – that way I can either stop wasting my energy trying to make something work that will never work or make the necessary changes so that it can work.
2 2points reply Boján Zoltán Boján Zoltán Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Or maybe we should care less about what is ugly or not. We should start teaching our children that being ugly is okay. Yeah strechmarks may be ugly, so what?
2 2points reply 
Boblawblaslawblog Boblawblaslawblog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
It’s best to know so as to remove those people from your life. Why be with someone that thinks parts of you are ugly when there is someone that would be smitten with every detail of you? Why vacation with someone that finds you annoying, or better yet, learn from that input on how to grow as a person and be less controlling / demanding?
0 0points reply
Cynthia Wilkins Cynthia Wilkins Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
My in-laws were really shocked with my husband one time when he told me something he would rather be done differently next time with the meal I had cooked. I have told him several times that I would rather know than think he liked something and keep wasting my time and energy doing something for no reason. Same with clothes. I want to be as attractive as I can be to my husband. That means that I want to know if he doesn’t like the way something looks on me. I might still wear those pants, because they’re comfortable, but I know to wear something different if I want to look good. Honesty is much better than lying. But there are lots of contexts where you just shouldn’t say anything, and I do think that most people would rather be lied to about things they don’t want to deal with.
3 3points reply 
Erica Knapp Erica Knapp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
It’s always truth for me…. even if it hurts. Trust me, if my significant other white lied and we go out and a friend says I look bad, we’re going to have a very long conversation on why they weren’t honest to begin with.
2 2points reply 
Yssa Stewart-Severson Yssa Stewart-Severson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I’d rather know the pants aren’t flattering.
1 1point reply 
Richard Boucher Richard Boucher Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I don’t think that’s the kind of lies we are talking about here. That’s just being nice
0 0points reply
Lil Potato Lil Potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
agreed
0 0points reply
El Dee El Dee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
People like the pleasant lie, they want their s**t sugar coated. They don’t want choices either, they want things given to them ready packaged and with no effort required. This is not a criticism, I feel like this too..
5 5points reply 
Nicola Roberts Nicola Roberts Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
As a mature student I did a communications course that covered lying. When explaining why you are late blame traffic. Your boss may be cross that you’re late but they want to direct the anger to SOMETHING else. And I always thought honesty was the best policy…
5 5points reply
Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago (edited) Report
It is interesting, when I took a sign language class of about 20 people it is considered proper etiquette in the deaf community in a situation like that simply explain why you were late. No issues. It, at least in the deaf community I was taking my classes in, to simply volunteer the information.
2 2points reply Load More Replies…
JM JM Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I think it can depend on the situation. It’s not always safe for people to tell the truth.
2 2points reply
Jessicah Jessicah Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Cannot disagree more with this statement. Sounds like this person’s individual preference is to be lied to; do not lie to me.
4 4points reply Demosthenes Demosthenes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I think this is a lie…
4 4points reply 
Naesil 🇫🇮 Naesil 🇫🇮 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
I dont think people like to be lied to per se but people definitely dont like to hear the honest brutal truth.
3 3points reply 
Michael Largey Michael Largey Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Of course, whatever you say.
2 2points reply 
Parriah Parriah Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
Hmmm interesting. I have to agree now that I’ve thought about it.
1 1point reply Mental Liberals Mental Liberals Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
That’s the governments tag line…ALL governments…
1 1point reply 
Alison Lover Alison Lover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 years ago Report
They do? This sounds made up
1 1point reply