Have you ever had that one friend who’s a little too enthusiastic about decluttering, and it somehow always ends up in your living room? They’re basically the type that are saving the planet one broken appliance at a time, and somehow your home becomes their landfill.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) kept receiving unsolicited deliveries from a friend, and despite repeated refusals and polite protests, the “gifts” kept coming. How did it all escalate, and why would someone persist in turning someone else’s home into a dumping ground? The answer might be as surprising as the items themselves.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:For some friends, leaving unwanted items on your doorstep is their way of decluttering, helping the planet, or just “sharing the love”
The author repeatedly receives unwanted items from a friend, including broken appliances, moldy baby gear, and clothes for the wrong age
Despite politely refusing and explaining the difficulty of taking items to charity or the tip, the friend continues leaving items at her home
Frustrated, she packed up the fridge, pans, and returned them to the friend early one morning
Interestingly, the friend was casual about it, mentioning that her husband was running a charity shop run anyway
The OP is a single parent with limited storage and zero spare time, and has been on the receiving end of some truly questionable gifts from her friend. These include a broken bread maker, a moldy bouncy chair, newborn clothes for a toddler who’s now one, a set of rusty pans, and the latest addition was a mini fridge that refused to close properly.
Every attempt to refuse the gifts, politely asking the friend to take the items back or donate them herself, was ignored. Instead, her friend would double down by telling her to take it to charity or just pass it on to someone else.
Whenever the OP would tell her that it would involve getting a toddler into the car, hauling heavy and awkward objects, and navigating a trip to the tip or charity shop that’s 10 miles away, her friend would leave things behind anyway. This left her wondering if she would be unreasonable to take all the things back to her friend’s place.
However, in an update, the OP shared that she packed up the fridge, pans, and miscellaneous items and returned them to the friend at 7 a.m. Interestingly, her friend was casual about it, and mentioned her partner was doing a charity shop run anyway.
The OP being overwhelmed by their friend’s relentless “freecycling” highlights both the benefits and pitfalls of passing on unwanted items. Carenet Consultants explain that freecycling can be an effective way to support local communities and promote environmental sustainability. However, hygiene and safety are critical considerations.
They note that personal or baby items should be thoroughly cleaned to prevent infections, and tools, furniture, or appliances must be in good working order to avoid accidents. When handled responsibly, freecycling can benefit both people and the planet but, as this story shows, it can also create stress when responsibility isn’t shared.
Greater Good points out that people sometimes give unwanted items to others to feel altruistic without doing the full work of helping. This self-interested form of giving allows the giver to reduce their own clutter while gaining satisfaction from appearing generous. In the story, the gifting illustrate how freecycling can sometimes serve more as a way to relieve personal burden than to genuinely support someone else.
Navigating such situations like then requires clear and respectful boundaries. Helpguide emphasizes that establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and involves understanding one’s own needs and articulating them clearly, setting realistic expectations, highlighting mutual benefits, and remaining open to negotiation can make these conversations constructive rather than confrontational.
Netizens were firmly on the side of the OP and applauded her for setting boundaries and refusing to tolerate the friend’s repeated dumping of unwanted items. They emphasized that since she had already said no and didn’t need to continue accommodating her friend’s “eco-friendly” excuses.
What do you think about this situation? Is it better to be polite and accept the items, or be blunt and return them? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens applauded the author for standing firm and returning the unwanted items her friend kept leaving at her doorstep
